Lyrics

The Camp Pallotta Song

by Welmoed Sisson

Performed at the GTE Big Ride Talent Show
July 30, 1998 in Flintstone, MD

Hello Muddah, hello Fadduh
Here I am at Camp Pallotta
The mosquitos are a-bitin’
And last week my tent was nearly struck by lightnin’

I don’t want to much concern ya
But I did get hypothermia
And here’s good news: it was scary,
But the camp flu wasn’t really dysentery!

(chorus) Take me home, oh Muddah, Fadduh
Rescue me from Camp Pallotta
Can’t you see, they want to make me
Ride a double century!

It’s been hell; the other riders
Ride so well, they’re never saggers
I’m so glum because I haven’t
Even made it to Pit One!

We’ve had roads that were quite hilly
And the Rockies were quite chilly
All the traffic is unnerving
Every passing dump truck sends us all a-swerving

My derailleur is a-jingling
And my fingers are a-tingling
My front tire has a big dent
But my saddle sore’s responding well to treatment!

(chorus) Take me home, oh Muddah, Fadduh
Rescue me from Camp Pallotta
Can’t you see, the semi drivers
All want to run over me

My poor bike is really creaking
Wish I’d bought a triple chainring
I am sure I will be needing
Knee replacement surgery!

South Dakota had the prairies
And Wisconsin had the dairies
I’m so sick of all the farm scenes;
This whole country lives on corn, wheat, cheese and soybeans!

They say hydrate or you will die
But the potties are not nearby
All the meals are quite fantastic
I’m so glad my bike shorts have lots of elastic!

(chorus) Take me home, oh Muddah, Fadduh
Rescue me from Dan Pallotta
Can’t you see, this ride has really
Taken so much out of me

But I’ve made so many new friends
Wish this ride was not at an end
Can it be, we’re all about to
Ride in Washington D.C.?

Wait a minute, it’s not raining
No one’s bitching or complaining
There’s no gravel on this bike trail
Muddah Fadduh kindly disregard this email!

Read Welmoed’s Big Ride Journal here!